she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
