Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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