Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
