If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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