omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
