I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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