I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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