pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
