ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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