4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
