saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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