what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
