I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
