Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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