What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
