It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
