fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
