that's an acceptable place to lick
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
