what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
