it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
