he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
