How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
