I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
