So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
