oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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