there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
