Grow some girl-balls and come out already
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
