Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
