you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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