STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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