I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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