apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
