I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
