if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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