Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
