Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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