All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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