My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
