why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
