R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
