there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
