i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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