my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
