You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
