the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
