ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Fuck appropriateness.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
