cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
