just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what day is it and did you see me today?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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