I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
