it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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