i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
