no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
